Eleanor Sings Again

I once wrote a blog about who Eleanor was and what she meant to me. To those who've not read my blog, Eleanor is a hallucination I have of a baby girl. I have one daughter who is 20 yrs old and going to college. I have bipolar disorder and severe depression along with anxiety disorder. I have hallucinations that are auditorial and visual. They occur frequently when I'm stressed or not feeling well. The hallucination that I'm having of Eleanor is that she is crying unconsolibly and without stop.There are a few periods of whimpers, but then it starts back up again. This has been going on since Thursday. I've not been sleeping particularly well and it is wearing me out. Brian continues to sleep regardless of me tiptoeing around at night. I feel pinned in and captured. I'm worried about my daughter who is having some issues of her own and about finances here. My boyfriend and I are living off of my income and that's just not enough to make ends meet. He's not pushing things to find a job and I'm frustrated with him because of that. I grew up believing that you had to work hard and if you lost your job or had to do something different you went after it without stop. Relentless attempts would pay off and you'd find a job that would last til you found something else. I have faith in him and know something will come up, but until then, I'm frustrated and ill about it.
So Eleanor's singing a song of sorrow, fear, and worry. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm going off of my rocker. I know this isn't healthy and I can't seem to find a solution to it. The bible is helpful and calming, but I can't read it constantly. Praying takes your mind off things for a little while, but the problem is still there. If you are reading this and know a solution or have an idea or even better, have a job available for Brian, let me know. I'm beginning to cry too and it's getting to me. Help me, please.